My MS Journey - Part 1

I want to share my experiences to empower anyone who needs it. I loved the stories I came across and always promised myself I'd share at some point.

So here it is....

A little disclaimer before hand.... I am not a doctor. This is what I did based of information I gathered over several months of researching. 

IMAGE CREDIT: Inara Studios

IMAGE CREDIT: Inara Studios

I was getting sick. A lot. It was always with a ton of random ailments and I just kept attributing it to stress.  I had a lot going on at that time, I had just bought my first place, got engaged, was planning an wedding, so many "normal" stressful things that life brings; I thought I was just bad at handling stress. It had been several years of weird ailments, so I just shrugged it off. I also knew I never managed stress well in the past, so I just figured I needed to get better at that. I started getting into yoga a lot more and trying to find ways to relieve stress through meditation.It would help occasionally, but I still had a lot of issues. 

 

I would have terrible headaches that felt like my head would explode, terrible leg cramps that landed me in the ER, painful weird arm spasms that would cause my hand to be unable to open, and one of the worst was vertigo. It felt like I had way too much to drink and the room was spinning, except this would last for days. Laying in bed (cause that's the only way to exist in that state) and at the worst times crawling if I needed to go anywhere cause I would fall over if I walked. The only thing you can really do is throw up. Well, that's vertigo, fun huh? My then boyfriend (now husband) drove me to the doctor the first time it happened and I threw up about a dozen times on the way. Car rides and vertigo just do not mix! 

After many doctor visits and ER trips, it was suggested I see a neurologist, but we were getting married soon, so I postponed seeing a doctor, but eventually went when things continued to get worse. I had an MRI that showed lesions all over my brain, which lead to a lumbar puncture. This all lead to my diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis.

I was absolutely devastated. Not because I had this new diagnosis, I've always been pretty tough and a perpetual optimist, so I was not devastated with my diagnosis, but because I was told by one of the best neurologist there was no hope. No hope. My fate was sealed according to him.  I remember very clearly being told how severe my MS was and that I was just going to get worse and for some reason I believed him. There were so many lesions on my brain and that medicine might help manage my symptoms, but untimely I would just continue to get worse. I would continue to loose functionality in my legs and be in a wheel chair within a few years. I was so sad thinking about all the things I never did. Sad that it seemed as if there was nothing I could do, that I had no control.

I had steroid IV drips regularly to help give me some temporary relief when I'd relapse. I was giving myself a shot every other day of Beta Seron. I was on a long list of medications. I counted at one point and was taking 12 pills a day.  Sooooo many chemicals going into my body DAILY. I thought about my Grandma who was free of  medicine up until the day she dies at the age of 94. No medicine and was still rocking it out. Counting those pills was one of the first times I had a moment, a moment where I realized that this just didn't feel right to me. I was always a bit crunchy and never took a lot of medication. Everything about this diagnosis and treatment felt wrong. How could I, at 28, be taking sooo many pills daily and my Grandma at 94 wasn't. I felt almost worse than before I was diagnosed, and now I also felt like a zombie that was drugged up, constantly.  My thinking REALLY started to shift.

Since I just continued to get worse my neurologist suggested this new alternative treatment that is supposed to have amazing results. Campath. Chemotherapy. I remember being shocked at the suggestion, but the benefit was supposed to be a new immune system and hopefully not have as many symptoms, thus less medication and NO MORE SHOTS. I was reluctant, but decided it might be worth it and doctor knows what's best, right? 

Well it was chemo, what can I say? It sucked. Luckily I didn't have as high a dosage as someone with cancer and  I didn't loose my hair, though ti changed my hair significantly, but I was soooo sick. At this point, I couldn't use my arm and started to be unable to use my legs. I was really scared. I was so incredible sick for weeks, months really. It was a few months before I  felt even slightly human again, but I didn't improve. I just continued to have more symptoms and they were getting worse. That's when I really started to get mad. Really mad. Sometimes anger is what you need to see the light. I started researching and asking about natural options or just vitamins he could suggest, but they felt vitamins "wouldn't do anything due to the severity of my MS." In fact, they actually let out a little laugh. 

That helped me make a huge decision.  I decided no more doctors for my MS. I'd done a lot of research at this point and felt I should take the chance and see if I could do any better on my own. Maybe I couldn't, but I thought I could at least try. (And just by the way, that doctor was very nice, I just think a lot of doctors have tunnel vision and don't want to see outside what they are taught).

I had recently been given a holistic MS book about MS from my Dad, a juicer from my Mom, and another health book from a friend about curing all sorts of ailments.  I started researching A LOT and I mean really researching. All day. Every day. Contacting people who had healed themselves, reading books and articles, watched documentaries, I  treated it like it was a full time job. It was all I did. This all started the path to getting better.

I was really, REALLY scared to attempt a natural path. I had just spent over a year of my life talking about my future and how it would absolutely and inevitably include a wheelchair, so it was a scary decision for me and my husband. Several people thought I was crazy, but I went with my gut, my intuition. 

I didn't exactly know what I was doing at the time, but I knew through what I was finding that other people were living a normal life after being diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, so surely I could too. 

That's what I will be sharing with you next. 

I am going to share every bit of what I did and still do to assure that I am symptom free. 

coming next week...